


tame our ways if we start

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, this is nonsense from start to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3319376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason's not jealous of Superboy. Like, at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tame our ways if we start

**Author's Note:**

> For my favoritest ohmcgee as with all things because my brain doesn't even function without hers. This is nonsense, move along.

"I mean, he's not even a real superhero."

"Jason…"

"He wears a fucking shirt with an S on it. That's not even original!"

"Uh…" Steph taps Jason's chest. He's not wearing the armor right now, just some crummy t-shirt with a band from the '80's, but he scowls at her, getting the point.

"Yeah, but that's _armor_. And I wear a mask."

"A _stupid_ mask, have I mentioned that lately?"

"He just wears a _t-shirt_. And isn't he like, a clone or something? Is it even ethically okay to fuck a clone?"

"Ethics from the boy who walked back into Gotham and started shooting up the place." Steph yawns, runs her fingers through her hair to work out the tangles. "I need more coffee."

Jason hands her his cup so she doesn't have to get up from the couch, but she makes a face as soon as she takes a sip. "Jesus, Jason, we invented sugar for a _reason_." She stalks off to put thirty-nine sugars in her coffee or whatever, but when she comes back Jason's still on the same topic.

"I just don't see why Tim even _needs_ to be a Titan anymore. _Damian's_ Robin now –"

"Oh my god," Steph says. "Have you seen that little freak interact with – well, I was going to say kids his own age, but what I actually meant was _other humans_."

"What's your point?"

"They need Tim," Steph says. "Maybe not all the time, maybe not like _we_ need him –"

Jason scoffs. "I don't _need_ either of you."

Steph rolls her eyes. She's about four seconds from punching the shit out of Jason, but she'd rather wait to do that until Tim gets back home. You know, in case he wants in on that action.

"Right, uh-huh," Steph says. "I forgot. You just stick around for the free blowjobs."

"As long as we understand each other."

Steph thinks about throwing her coffee on Jason, but it would be such a _waste_ of good caffeine. Jason's quiet for a while, and Steph thinks she can finally get some peace and _quiet_ , but then –

"I just don't _get_ it," Jason says. "I mean, okay, so he's a superhero, he helps people, good for him, but what's the big _deal_?"

"Um," Steph says. "I'm assuming you mean aside from the fact that he's super fucking _hot_?"

Jason scowls. "He's not that good-looking."

Steph stares at him. "Jason. Have you _seen_ Superboy's ass? I mean, it's got nothing on _mine_ , but –"

Jason scowls. "Whatever, man. He's a fucking _punk_ ," he says, and he starts to say something else but then Steph cracks up _laughing_ at him. "What?" he asks.

She giggles, sets her coffee down on the table and then starts up again. "You're just so – jealous," she says. "It's –"

"Stephanie, if you say it's adorable, so help me –"

"But it _is_." She reaches over and pats Jason's cheek, which has definitely turned an interesting shade of pink. She wants to get out her phone and take a picture for Tim, but he's supposed to be back any minute now and she _guesses_ that can wait.

Jason shakes his head, and Steph is pretty sure he's just as annoyed at _himself_ as anything. "It's just," he says. "Fuckin'… Superboy."

"Yeah, I know. He's a dreamboat, all right, but guess what? So are _you._ "

Jason smirks at her. "Well, you got that part right."

Steph holds her hand up. "I'm still prettier, though. Just remember that and settle down already, okay?"

"Don't fucking tell me to –"

Steph kisses him, and she tastes like coffee and enough sugar to make Jason's head hurt, and by the time Tim gets back they're heavy into a make-out session and Jason's _almost_ forgotten about Superboy.

Almost.

As soon as Tim comes over to say hello Jason's pulling him down, marking him up like he's been gone three weeks instead of three _days_ , _sniffing_ at him like he's searching for clues of clone boys or some shit.

"Uh," Tim says, when Jason finally lets up enough to let him breathe. He glances over at Steph, who shakes her head and mouths _don't ask._ "It's good to see you, too?"

Jason looks him over, like he's checking for bumps or bruises or hickies, then asks, "Everything go okay?"

Tim shrugs. "The usual. We saved the world. You two?"

"Well," Steph says. "We found out Jason –"

Jason puts his hand over her mouth, and Tim raises his eyebrows. "Uh," Jason clarifies, yelping when Steph bites his hand. "We were just. Talking about your friend."

He doesn't even have to say _which friend_. Tim rolls his eyes. "You know, you two would probably get _along_ -"

"That's what I said!" Steph says.

"Whatever," Jason says. "What kind of name is Superboy, anyway? So _original_."

"Really, _Red Hood_?" Tim shoots back.

"Hey, at least _I'm_ not named after a restaurant."

Tim's mouth opens, shuts, and Steph says, "And we have a winner."

Steph and Jason high five. Tim says, "I hate you both."

"No way," Steph says. "You missed us _so much_."

"Well," Tim says. "You _do_ both give better blowjobs than Superboy, so…"

Jason looks like he's getting ready to say something _stupid_ that's going to ruin her coffee buzz, so Steph puts her hand over his mouth and grins at Tim. "That's all we need to know, really."


End file.
